3 Tips for Child-Focused Parenting Time
According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, children of divorced parents should spend time with both – as long as it is in the best interests of the child. However, parents can help their children cope with stressful situation by establishing parenting time schedules, which can reduce the level of conflict they are exposed to. Here are some tips that can help:
Don’t Use Them as Messengers: Something as simple as a reminder that your child must take his/her vitamins daily or that bill payments are due can result in a fight. Using children as messengers to convey messages/reminders will only bring them into the line of fire.
If the message was a difficult one, you or your ex-spouse may end up taking your anger out on your children, therefore, make sure you deal directly with each other or through another adult if you cannot talk to one another in a civil manner.
Don’t Ask Them To Report On The Other Parent: Your children are already confused and unsure about their future and asking them to report on what their dad or mom is doing, what their schedule is, when they get in from work or other invasive questions will force them to divide loyalties.
In most cases like this, children feel guilty because they think they are being asked to love one parent more than the other. Once they realize they are being used, they may end up resenting both parents.
Don’t Put Down the Other Parent in Front of The Children: A divorce that is finalized with unresolved conflicts can lead to a lot of pent-up anger. However, as adults, parents must learn to control that anger rather than venting it onto their children. This can happen if they vent their anger on their ex-spouse in front of their children to make themselves look good.
The thing is, children identify with both parents and if one constantly puts down the other, they will think they are being criticized as well. Prevent that from happening by talking respectably about the other parent in front of your children. This will also help them to accept their new situation and adapt to it faster.
Children are the real victims of a divorce, whether parents realize it, or realize it too late. If parenting time is not managed in an amicable manner, it can have long-lasting repercussions on your family. During this time, an experienced family attorney can help you come up with a plan, which can help you get back on track.
If you are looking for such an attorney in Hinsdale, IL, get in touch with the attorneys at Cesario & Walker for a consultation today. Our aim is to provide committed and efficient legal services and we are available when you require assistance and will ensure your interests are represented to the fullest.